Jezebel Goes Slander Happy On Sex Blog…I Believe It Is Due To Lack Of Smashing

The women over at Jezebel had no problem putting talented bachelor blogger Jozen Cumming on blast, complete with insults and low blows about his blog, so what would they think about me?

Here’s a little gem of what they had to say over at Jazebel:

There’s nothing wrong with not wanting to be in a relationship, and there’s nothing wrong with not wanting to get married. There’s something embarrassing about the appalling lack of self-awareness necessary to, at an age barely over the median marriage age for men with college degrees, to write a blog where you purport to be an expert at bachelorhood, to write about sex (something that people have been doing literally forever) as though you’re the first to discover that it feels nice, to purport to have made the amazing discovery that sometimes it’s nice to fuck without responsibility. His blog and public persona goes beyond being Captain Obvious and gets into Captain Oblivious territory. You’re not George fucking Clooney, dude. You’re just another bro at a bar pissing on my leg and telling me it’s raining.

Okay where do I begin…let me address the statement about college degrees first. Why was that brought up at all? Degree or not, if you find your niche, you enjoy it, and you can make a living out of it, what sane person wouldn’t take full advantage of that? Jozen has the gift of writing and found an outlet for his talent, I would be jealous too if I were a hater.

He never said he invented sex (that was Trey Songz FYI) but he has the persona and the balls to put it out there and make it successful. So successful that he won 3 awards at the 2010 Black Weblogs, how many of you can say the same?

Earlier in the year I did a spotlight piece on Xilla, who’s blog is one of the biggest relationship and entertainment sites on the internet. My post wasn’t bashing Xilla, as i’m sure he’s next in line for Jezebel to go after, but instead supported and praised him for what he does.

At a first glimpse it may just look like a blog of sex triumphs and dap worthy lays, but if you really read what Xilla is putting out there you will find the personal stories of love lost, love found, and the times when love is unwanted. There are many men and women who I’m sure have a million sex stories who think they could have a blog like this, but Xilla’s irrefutable gift for the written word is what sets him above the rest. 

Maybe people are scared to talk about sex, or think that it’s inappropriate, it’s 2011 if you are having sex you can blog about it. if you don’t like it it’s simple don’t read them.

Cummings did post a response to the Jezebel post in which he brought up a point I would love to address.

Yesterday, in the midst of all the hoopla written about me at and The Washington Post, a reader wrote the following question to me:

I meant to ask this before the whole Jezebel thing. Do you think a woman could write in the same exact style that you do and discuss their love/sex life and NOT get some kind of backlash? Double standard still exists no?

To be blunt, I don’t only think, I’m 100 percent sure a woman couldn’t write as openly as I could about their experiences with relationships and sexual misadventures. I get backlash and I’m a guy, writing about doing what arguably guys do. I can only imagine what kind of backlash a woman would get if there was a female version of Until I Get Married.

So recently Mike Stylezz and I have been posting Relations 101 articles on ihiphop addressing relationships, sex, giving advice, along with personal preferences. First of all these posts get a crazy amount of hits immediately, people love reading about sex. I hold nothing back in these posts, in fact the Headiquette Lessons were my idea for a topic where I talked about the best way for women to give head and the correct ediquiette for receiving head. I don’t think I give the best head in the world or invented head, but I’m open to talking about sex and throughout conversations with my friends, exes, hook-ups I feel I have accumulated enough knowledge to write such a post. I do receive slander in the comments section (to me the comments on each post is the absolute best part) mostly saying how as a woman I shouldn’t support men’s behavior that I write about. Here’s the thing, we are not angels ladies, maybe you don’t cheat but there are a lot of women out there who do, maybe you don’t want to be choked in bed but there are a lot of women who do. So if you don’t like what I’m saying then that’s your opinion, and don’t forget it’s a free country so feel free to not read, or do and slander me all you want. I will continue to write about what I want for as long as I am able to and It’s writers like Xilla and Cummings who inspired and paved the way for me to be able to do so.

Maybe I will get more backlash from my own gender, and crude comments from men about how I must get wet from writing this, but it’s not affecting me. If a woman can not give a f*ck what people say and shake off the assumptions being made, I truly believe we can write a sex blog just as well as any man.

In the great words of TLC…Let’s Talk About Sex

About jaimlou

Manager of Publicity & Artists Relations at LULU COHEN MEDIA

Posted on August 1, 2011, in Because I Can, Beef, Blog, Really?. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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