Coachella 2012- Where Bros, Sorostitutes, and Even Paris Hilton Can Be A Hippy

Well it’s that time of year again, where all the bros update their Facebook status about how SICK the coachella lineup is and sluts everywhere start cutting up their matching neon t-shirts….that’s right Coachella’s lineup has been announced! As most of you know I am a hip-hop head who would never deny my inner hippy, when the hipsters took dubstep it hurt but I still had my music festivals, now that the brodemic (be careful becoming a bro is contagious) has spread into my music festivals I will not be silenced! You guys took away Rothbury from having the Grateful Dead as the headliner and turned it into Electric Forest the land of the brostep, Coachella has kept it’s name but lost it’s essence! For God’s sake Avicii is performing at Coachella this year *turns on the Dead to prevent bro-ing out*

Now i’m sure you all are not aware of the history of Coachella, mostly because in 1999 when the 1st Coachella took place you were all about 8 years old SMH…but i’m here to help! We all have at least heard of Woodstock right? Those were real live hippies kids, they did not wear Forever 21 “Woodstock” t-shirts or drive the festival in their brand new Range Rover, no they lived for the music! Hippies created their own communities, listened to psychedelic rock, embraced the sexual revolution (which yes you sluts do very well), and did drugs to explore altered states of consciousness (not to have a shuffle off against the bro pack from your rival school)

Only 3 months after Woodstock 99, the first Coachella was held, but because of Woodstock they weren’t allowed to have on-site camping. The first line-up was a thing of beauty…from  headlining acts Beck, The Chemical Brothers, Tool, Morrissey, and Rage Against the Machine to the infamous Jurassic 5 and DJ Shadow.  It’s been said hat the event failed to generate any profit, which nearly put an end to the festival, but also emphasizes how the first festival was solely about the music and not who look most like Kate Hudson in Almost Famous.

The Coachella that I probably am most jealous of  happened in 2003, when the festival featured Red Hot Chili Peppers and Beastie Boys (as well as a reunited Iggy Pop and The Stooges) I can’t imagine the level of pure talent that lineup had!  Now we get into the demise of the festival, some may say 2009 but they still had The Cure and Paul McCartney perform so I feel the real beginning of the end was 2010 with MGMT, Deadmau5, Gorillaz, and Tiesto took the bill….as you’ve seen since it’s gone from Rage Against The Machine to a DJ who fist pumps in front of a machine. I love my dubstep as much as the next white kid from the suburbs but my fear of the brodemic is far greater!

I’m sure many of you are planning on braving the sea of neon t-shirts and group chants this year, so for those attending Coachella 2012 I have a complete guide of how to identify and categorize the hipster (thanks to egotv)

You’ve been warned.

About jaimlou

Manager of Publicity & Artists Relations at LULU COHEN MEDIA

Posted on January 10, 2012, in 2WGZ Original, Bass In Yo Face, Because I Can, Blog, Coachella, Events, Here's what I think, Lesson of the day, Music, New Pictures, Really? and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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